What an year you have been! Am I thanking you? Indeed yes!
and this thank you is not for the memories but for the moments which made me realise a lot of things.
To be honest, it was not exactly a perfect year for me. It was more downs and few ups with few breaks and just pauses.
Friendships, break-ups, anxiety moments, oops not again please moments, possessive moments, realisations of emotions, new feelings, what if situations, passionate goals, I give up minutes, fuck this is not how it was supposed to end moments, laughing to death times, please god atleast let these people be permanent kind off situations, cry cry and cry situations, may be I am gonna die laughing situations, I am stronger and I can do it minutes, more than a momentary crush feelings, only mine moments, captured in heart scenarios, dope films, fantasy can never be reality realisations.... Damn, there have been hella lot emotions I felt. It has been a complete different year for me, compared to all the previous years that I so well remember.
I kind off felt like growing up. Like seriously, I don't know what exactly it means to grow up but I would define 2022 year as the year of growing up.
There were times when I really felt like giving up on my friends who were like homies, but then there was some kind off some sudden thrift in me telling me " You are not that". I was hurt but I expressed them that I was hurt only a fewer times. I made few things a little complicated. I felt I was not worthy to be someones best friend. The first half of the year has mostly been about self doubts, guilty, regrets ... and then I have met and made friends in my collage.They have been my friends before though, but this time I let them enter my zone. Till the previous year I never allowed, neither did I enter in to someone else's "close friends" zone because I was always scared what if my best friends think I admire them no more. (Overthinking at its peak!)
It was wrong. I was wrong. I realised how important it is to make spaces for different kind of friends. And I really have to be thankful for finding out some true friends! My opinion about friendships, people, life, love may be about many more things has been changed with the time. Also, I realised how important role family plays and how I took them granted in certain situations. A sincere apology and a heartful thanks to my sister, because she is the reason I found myself back again.
The second half of the year was more like how I was in my childhood, playful, smiling, making others smile, lame jokes, flirting, drama and all. I was literally so good (not boasting but super proud of how I have turned into) and special thanks for those people who made me realise what I actually am !
It was tough obviously, more than tough to be honest. If the 14 year old me was here watching the 18 year old, trust me she would definitely be proud! cause though adulting sucks, I made it colourfully suck!
Somehow I am unable to put all the roller coaster emotions into words. The pictures I took of myself, my family, my friends, of the trips I have been to, the food, the nature in the camera stays in there. But the pictures I captured through my eyes and my heart stays in me with the words that can never be properly spoken out. Those moments were actually more than memories... they are like the poems that are engraved on the heart, they are like the paintings that are admired by people but understood only by me, they are like that fragrance one could never get to enjoy.
Obviously everyone did have got different experiences for the year but for me I got a life to experience.
lastly,
Dear 2022,
You were not exactly the roller coaster, but a ferries wheel.
You were not a hot a chocolate cup but a cup of Irani chai.
You were not like a slice of pizza but more like a plate of mirchi bajji.
You were not like the chicken biryani that I loved the most, but like the chicken tikka momos (fried) that now has been added to my favourite list.!
To the different people, cute moments, tough decisions, conclusions, and to the new changes and acceptances, THANK YOU!!!
2022 was just another year and may be not... It was just a new experience!