An Unplanned love story ( PART 2)

 [ CONTINUATION...]

(In case you are reading this first, just know that this part is the continuation of the PART 1. You can read the previous one here, An unplanned love story (part 1) )

Oh God, why am I feeling super nervous. If somebody finds me out right now, they would definitely be worried because I look like I am going to pass out. My mind already started making scenarios . I should reply him. But my hands are literally shivering. He is such a duffer, who cannot understand the typos incase if any. And with my hands shivering all the words would be typos. 

"Dummy, you there? I said I want to say something. Reply me back..."

Oh God! Okay wait before I reply let me just put on some music. The only way I can calm down is by music. But what song ? Uff . I will just play something so random. AH No, let me choose one. Okay why am I even nervous to choose and play a song? God! YES, let me play this, Ek din aap yum humse mil jayenge from YES BOSS. The song was half done and I was better than before.

"Sorry, Amma called me. I am back. Tell me .. now..."

" Ah, its okay. I don't know if I can tell you like this... Guess first na.."

"Like what? I don't think I am good at guessing games. Tell me before I get a heart attack ."

"Please.... you guessing would make things easier for me..."

"No Duffer. I don't even know what you want to talk about. How do you think I can make a guess? What if I don't guess it right? I would be embarrassed..."

Okay , to be brutally honest I think I know what he wants to tell me. I think it is about love. I am having butterflies in my tummy already. I was also panicking.

"Please Dummy. You know a lot about me, and I know you cannot go wrong. Even if you guess it wrong, it is okay. But please make things easy by guessing... Please"

He never pleased me this much before. Now, I am more nervous. I know him? He thinks I know him a lot? I mean yeah but still..!

" Well... Do you want to talk something about...Love...?"

"See, I know. YES DUMMY. I knew you would guess it right..!"

"Okay.. so...?"

" Well, okay I really don't know how exactly your reaction will be for this but I hope everything will be fine. So... I am in love with a person...."

OH JEEZ. I AM RUNNING. I mean I am shouting. I cannot reply because he was still typing. I maintained the calmness somehow. And then he texted again, 

"And she is my girlfriend. We fell for each other almost at the same time and nobody knows about our relationship. I mean, we itself didn't know what exactly was this... So we just waited for few weeks in the begining and then when we both knew what it is, we entered into a relationship. So its been about 2 months..."

oh. okay. what? For a minute I was shattered.I am not his girlfriend. He is in love but not with me. I did not understand what was going on. I did not know I was crying. I did not know what went wrong. I went blank. I replied after gathering myself.

"Oh! That's cool. That's great. I am really happy for you. Who is she...? When did this all happen...?"

The fact that he found someone else was something that was haunting me. Everything was love between us, wasn't it? He said he wants me to be his wife someday, didn't he? Where did it all go wrong? I knew things wouldn't work out in the end, but he was the one who gave me hopes. He said it would be tough because his family wouldn't accept a girl from other community. I cannot handle this. This doesn't even feel like a break up but more than that. Even worse. How? Why? 

"Dummy, you are the first person I am telling this to. Listen, just because now I am in a relationship, things won't change towards you. You are still my bestfriend..."

Best friends? How can he do this to me? For a minute I wanted to blame everthing on him. I wanted to yell at him. Slap him. Show him how hurting it is. But, I couldn't do that. I couldn't just .

"Yeah.. I am happiee. Cheers to you both!"

He sent me her picture. DUDE ! Enough! Just because I am happy for you doesn't mean I am fine to look at her. It should be me in her place. You said I deserved that once upon a time! You! I know I am freaking out. Shouldn't I? I probably would want to run away. I don't know. 

"Nicee... On your first date?"

"Yeahh, kind off... Just be honest, does anything change for you?"

"Yes, it does"

"So things not same? What am I now?"

"Haha , I cannot flirt like before. "

"Neither can I . But see you are the only one I wanted to share this with. I don't want things to change between us just because I am in love with some other. I want us to be beautiful.."

"You and me.. Ah, I can promise you that I will be your well wisher for life long. I would hope and pray for good things to happen for you..!"

"All I want is you to be the same, Dummy"

"I am hurt, Duffer! Won't you understand? I am happy for you but the way things happened unexpectedly, I am hurt more than I can actually tell you. I am not blaming anything on you but it is true that you gave me hopes. I love you, atleast I loved you... "

"Ah.. yeah. No problem. I know that all along hope was not gonna work out. My bad, I am sorry. You are still the same with me. That's enough.."

I know we can never be same again. I couldn't stop crying. He would be expecting a reply back, but I left him on seen.  All I could do and wanted to do was lent out my emotions. I texted my bestfriend about all this. She hates him now. She unfriended him every where. I couldn't do that. She doesn't want me to think about him because he cheated upon me. It is very hard to accept that. I know love happens in any moment with anyone. But, he did know about the thing we had ... My bestfriend calmed me down. Yet, I wanted to lent out even more. I took my journal, the same one where I wrote about "us". I wanted to tear all those pages. But I choose to not. I want to remember every moment we had. Everything that he gave me as a good memory taunts me from now on. 

" With tears in my eyes, all I see is the blurry vision. Neither can I see something, nor listen something. All I am able to do is to feel. Feel all the love that buried me in the grounds of hope, all the love that was with me ALMOST. 

It is not your mistake to fall in love with some one else other than me, but it might be a mistake to give me hope and call us as more than friends. I am hurt. I never felt like this before. I never felt like a child abandoned by his own mother. I never felt like left alone in the dark forest. 

Dear heart, I am sorry for the damage that happened. May be my bad, that I gave you hope unnecessarily. I am sorry, I am left only with sorry. This would be the end, I assume so. 

Let the tears not be shed

For once your eyes have been tired

Let the words be not uttered

For once the blame will not be on you..."

And I stood looking out of my window, wiped my tears and texted him back. I think it was almost 2 hours since I touched my phone. I expected messages from him after that text, but nope I didn't get any.

"Yeah.. So Sup? "

Seriously, this is the message I sent? Ah, well my heart couldn't think of any other messages.

"Nothing much. I have come to village, you know! I am really having fun here. "

"Ohh, thats really nice...btw, didn't you both take any pictures together?"

WTF, why am I even bothered about that? I am not understanding what exactly I am doing. I am out of my own control.

"Nope, dummy. We both are very shy of pictures. I take her pictures without her notice. Mostly like candids. She does the same (laughing emoji) "

oh. good. thanks. So. What.

"So nice. So I am the only one who knows.. good. Uhm, what does she know about me?"

"You are my bestie a close one ..."

[to be continued]